Day 8: Your fears

I have lots of fears! I think we all do to be honest no matter how big or small we decide they are. I’m also starting to realise that having fears is completely natural and we shouldn’t knock ourselves or anyone else for having fears even though they may differ from our own fears. Everyone is afraid of something and that’s okay. We wouldn’t be human if nothing scared us even a little bit. It’s important to remember though that our fears don’t have to control us and we can maybe even overcome them one day.

I just wanted to say that before I launched straight into explaining all my own personal fears. It’s not that I have the fear of my fears being mocked, pardon the pun, but I wanted tp outiline the fact that having fears is totally normal and hopefully my post will be something you can understand and maybe even relate to.

I have a fear of letting people down. It’s like I know what people think of me and I also know what I want them to think of me and I feel I am obligated to live up to both of these expectations. As you can see that’s a lot of pressure to put on oneself but it’s something I struggle with a lot. It’s just that I don’t want others to be hurt and I want to do my best and want them to see the good side of me at all times. I suppose this kind of stems from my anxiety and perfectionism. I don’t want the people I love to get hurt because of something I could do and the mere idea of that scares me.

I’m also pretty afraid of anything medical; hospitals, doctor’s offices, dentists,etc. It’s nothing personal in relation to the doctors and other medical practicioners themselves. Some doctors and nurses are lovely people it’s just the job and setting they re in that scares me. I hate the fear of the unknown and what could happen to me if I had to have an operation or stay in hospital overnight or if any of my loved ones did too.

This leads me on to my next fear which is similar to the one above; death. This is something that really triggers my anxiety and all through my life I’ve had multiple nightmares regarding this about my own death and the death of others. It’s the not knowing what comes after death or not knowing when people are going to do die that scares me the most. It’s something that I want to have control of but obviously can’t. Losing those that are close to me frightens me so much I just want them to live forever and the pain of losing them would be too much.

Lastly one of the other fears that’s been bothering me if the fear of never being truly good enough to feel really happy with myself and my life. I want so much for someday in my life to be happy with who I am and to accept myself but at this moment in time it seems like a long way away. I fear I won’t overcome my anxiety well enough and that it will prolong me being able to live life to the full and not be constantly worrying about what’s going to happen next.

That’s about it for the moment. Maybe in the future I”ll write a longer post detailing my fears better.

Do you share any of the same fears as me?

Let’s all support each other and our fears down in the comments because that’s exactly what the blogging community is about!

girlmasked

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