Don’t hide behind the mask

Hello!

Something was said to me a few days ago that really resonated with me and prompted me to write this post. I had originally planned to write a post on destressing tips as this had got the highest votes out of all the posts I featured in my twitter poll. Thanks to everyone who voted by the way! That post will be up next weekend. There’s been a lot on my mind over the past few days and I really needed to get it out on paper and share it with you, my fabulous readers and hopefully it may even help some of you who are going through something similar.

This blog is called girlmasked as I wanted to remain anonomys on the internet but it got me thinking. I am technically hiding behind a mask in my own life and I have been for quite some time. I don’t want to live like this. I am sick and I am tired of hiding behind the mask I have created for myself in an attempt to protect myslef and others from myslef and the reality of my life and what I am feeling.

A lot of the time it is so easy to sit back and nod, fake a smile and a laugh and pretend everything is absolutely fine. We all do it once and a while when we want to hide our emotions maybe if we’re at work, etc and then we release them to our loved ones later. But things can get out of hand when  we keep things for ourselves for too long.

Sometimes we think we can handle things by ourselves and sometimes we’re right. But most of the time worries pile up and it can get too much for us. I know all too well how this feels. For far too many times I have sat in counselling appointments, with friends, people I know,etc who have made time to listen to me and have refused to open up because I’ve been far too afraid to say how I am feeling out loud.

It’s absolutely exhausting nodding and saying everything is perfectly fine, anyone else who does this will know how accustomed you become to doing it and almost become used to it. It becomes second nature at hiding how you truly feel and yearn to be like everyone else who apparently has their lives together and can express exactly how they feel in a few simple sentences. On a side note, not everyone has their lives together, in fact very few people do, everyone is in the same boat, on a similar journey.

The silence becomes a comfort zone, something I personally have become used to living in. I’ll divert the conversation to anything so I don’t have to talk about myself. Sometimes it’s the fear of the other person’s reaction or fear that how you feel or what is worrying you will seem unimportant and totally pointless to be worrying about in the first place. Well, that’s how it can feel to me sometimes.

I always end up beating myself up further for not saying anything when I had planned to. I let my anxiety control me. But I’m determined to not let it get the better of me. Their obviously won’t be an overnight transformation. That’s not who I am. it’ll take a while for me to change. But with a lot of hard work and trying I know I can get there.

Do any of you feel the same way too?

Do you find it hard to express how you feel?

It’s far too easy to lie and say everything’s fine or bottle up your feelings in fear. But trust me it’s never worth it because in the end things can get too much and you eventually need to confide in someone. So if you’re in the same boat, please, talk to someone, a counsellor, a sibling, a parent or a trusted friend.

Wishing you all the happiness in the world,

girlmasked

 

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34 thoughts on “Don’t hide behind the mask

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    1. Thank you. Sorry to hear that! It’s so tough to explain how you feel at times, isn’t it! Eventually I find when I do say something it helps so much. I hope you are keeping well. Thanks for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. This is a really good post. I do understand. I have autism and I have to try and hide my true self all the time as people don’t like a lot of my naturally autistic traits. But since I have been diagnosed I’m trying not to mask myself so much- you’re right, I shouldn’t hide.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, I’m glad you like it. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been hiding who you are. Glad to hear though that you’ve been doing it less and less. Hope you’re keeping well. Thanks for reading 🙂

      Like

  2. Love this! Like you said it’s important to be open about how you feel. Don’t have to shout about it but definitely talk to a close friend or family member if something’s bothering you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s like you are in my head!! It’s so easy to tell people to talk about it until its your turn to be vulnerable. I can definitely relate…keep up the amazing posts!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! You’re definitely right! It’s so easy to say you’re fine until it gets so much and you feel like you’ll explode if you don’t say anything at all! Hope you’re keeping well. Thank you so much, I appreciate your kind words! ☺

      Like

    1. Glad you think so! Thanks for reading! I hope it gets easier to talk about for you too. Good luck with it. Here if you need anything! 🙂

      Like

    1. Thank you, I’m glad you think so.
      I hope you will too,good luck with it. You’ve got this, once you start the conversation everything starts to gradually feel a little better

      Like

    1. Thank you, I’m really glad you think so! So glad to hear that you’re getting better at expressing how you fell to other people. It really helps to get things off your chest, doesn’t it! Thank you so much, I appreciate that! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think we all get so accustomed to our own comfort zones that we fall into a pattern of ‘hiding behind a mask’ without really realising that we are doing it, which is horrible really, when you think about it! I suppose the best, and only thing you can do, is be aware of yourself and your feelings, and try your best to open up about things rather than hiding away. Self-love is so important, but it’s something that comes with time. Be kind to yourself, take every day as it comes, and celebrate the little achievements. That’s all you can ask of yourself ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is so true we can get used to it and it can become almost natural. Yes it is, isn’t it!!
      Yes, I agree self love is important, it takes time but it is definitely worth it 🙂 Thank you so much. I really appreciate your thoughtful words

      Like

  5. This is such a beautiful post! I was the same few years ago. I just didn’t want anyone to see the real me. Although it has to do with the fact that I was bullied at school I’m still a little bit sad that I didn’t acted differently. When I grew up a little bit and when I reflected on those days I knew that at that moment hiding myself was the only thing that I think was right. However I learned so much about myself and accepted who I really am. xo

    Antonia || Sweet Passions

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!
      I’m so glad to hear that you’ve accepted yourself and also sorry to hear that you had to go through bullying.
      Thank you for reading 🙂

      Like

  6. I have a lot of respect for you for writing this, m’lovely! I totally agree that in many cases, it is easier to fake a smile and pretend that everything is hunky dory when really, you’re struggling. Opening up online, even though you’re doing it anonymously, is still a really brave thing and I hope it brings you comfort!

    Abbey 🍉 http://www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, I really appreciate your kind words.
      I agree it is so easy to say everything is fine when it’s not.
      Thank you so much! It certainly does. Even writing things down can really help.
      Thanks again for reading!

      Like

  7. While I have always been expressive (therapy since 12 has helped), I can empathize. I would genuinely struggle if I didn’t feel totally understood by those closest to me. Well done to you for working to open up a bit more. You are right, it won’t happen over night but you’ve already taken the first step: admitting you need to work on it. Good luck, girl!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I appreciate it.
      Over the past few weeks in particular I’ve been working really hard on being honest with myself on others regarding how I’m feeling. It actually helps, doesn’t it!
      Thanks again for your kind words. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  8. This was honestly me for the longest time, but it just all got to be too much to hold in after a while. It feels better to share, honestly. I hope you get to that point, and find people worth lowering the mask for ❤️❤️

    xx
    Emily
    emilyhallock.blogspot.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad to hear you were able to share how you felt. Such a big achievement ☺ You’re right, it really does. Thank you so much.

      Like

  9. Your personal posts have always resonated with me, and this one is no different. I think it’s tempting for everyone to put up this mask and make themselves appear as someone they’re not, but it isn’t sustainable, and it’s so exhausting like you said. It’s great that you’re trying to work on it; I wish you the best of luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hi I’m anonymous as well. I love your blog and have followed. I feel hiding myself online is a way to get my feelings into the open but it can have cons because I feel like no one really knows who I am and doesn’t know things about me and at first, I felt like I was not as easily welcomed into the blogging community. I feel like I am a part of the community now but I feel like no one approaches me because I am anonymous. Anyway, such a well written blog and I look forward to reading your future blogs. X

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh my goodness I relate to this so much. I often find it difficult to express my feelings too; I ‘ve got a blog for it but it doesn’t mean I can properly explain my thoughts. I need to stop hiding and pretending everything’s fine or not showing the true extent of how sad I am but I don’t know how if that makes sense? I’ll have to try though and that’s what scares me 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah glad you can understand where I’m coming from. Yeah, sometimes even when writing it can be easy to hold things back. Yeah I get get what you mean. You can do it! It’s tough but even saying a little extra than you normally would can help. Here if you need anything at all 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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